Shareware Grab Bag/Shareware Grab Bag.iso/090/quoter.arc/QUOTES.BBS

File List | 1986-04-08 | 30KB | 925 lines

Real Programmers don't write specs -- users should consider themselves
lucky to get any programs at all and take what they get...

Don't order a drink for the road, because the road is already laid out
Flip Wilson

Crayne's law:
All computers wait at the same speed.

Ill play with it first and tell you what it is later.
MILES DAVIS

Some  years  ago,  when  COBOL  was the great white programming
hope, one heard much talk  of  the  possibility  of  executives
being  able  to  read  programs  ...  nobody can seriously have
believed [this] ...  even programmers do not read programs.
                   -Weinberg, p.5

I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all
these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these
kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and
I wasn't tempted to buy one but I was reminded of the fact that I had been
avoiding the beach.
LUCINDA CHILDS (PHILIP GLASS: EINSTEIN ON THE BEACH)

Real Programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should
be hard to understand...

If you can fly this plane 600 miles per hour in the dark
and find Los Angeles...
you can find my bags!
Geraldean Wilson

Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.
HASSAN I SABBAH

Dont let your mouth write no check that your tail cant cash.
BO DIDDLEY

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the
opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
NIELS BOHR

Just because everything is different doesnt mean anything has changed.
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA ORACLE

The most merciful thing in the world ... is the inability of the human
mind to correlate all its contents.
H P LOVECRAFT

What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

Love is a matter of chemistry, but Sex is a matter of physics.

"Discovery consists in seeing what everyone else has seen and
thinking what no one else has thought."
 - Albert Szent-Gyorgi -

I  write  all  my critical routines in assembler, and my comedy
routines in FORTRAN.
                   -Anonymous

"Revolution is the opiate of the intellectuals"
 - "Oh, Lucky Man" -

I really hate this damn machine,
I wish that they would sell it.
It never does just what I want,
But only what I tell it.

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because  fools  are
so ingenious.
                   -Edsel Murphy, dec.

"Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters;
united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of marvels"
 - Goya -

Asking  for  efficiency and adaptibility in the same program is
like asking for a beautiful and modest wife ...  we'll probably
have to settle for one or the other.
                   -Weinberg, p.22

It  seems intuitively clear that the existence of an error in a
program will not be reflected in the  test  result  unless  the
program component in error is executed during the test.
                   -J.C. Huang, 'Program Instrumentation
                   and Software Testing', Computer, Volume
                   II Number 4

"Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon
the wall instead of using it"
 - Gordon R. Dickson -

"Civilization is a movement, not a condition; it is a voyage, not a harbor."
 - Toynbee -

Real Programmers don't eat quiche. They eat Twinkies, and Szechwan food.

Take what you can use and let the rest go by.
KEN KESEY

There are ...  programs that should be thrown away before  ever
being used.
                   -Weinberg, p.20

Its not the size of the ship, its the size of the waves.
LITTLE RICHARD

If a programmer is found to be indispensable, the best thing to
do is to get rid of him as quickly as possible.
                   -The Psychology of Computer Programming,
                    Gerald M. Weinberg,
                    (Van Nostrand Reinhold Co., 1971)

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
MAE WEST

Putting  a  bunch of people to work on the same problem doesn't
make them a team.
                   -Weinberg, p.35

Real Programmers' programs never work right the first time.
But if you throw them on the machine they can be patched into
working in only a few 30-hour debugging sessions.

The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking
your work is terribly important
Milo Bloom

I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of
oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate
commerce.
J EDGAR HOOVER

I love Susie and she loves me..
I tryed to screw her in a hollow tree
the tree split...she shit...
and all i got was a little bit..
THE DUCK

Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN.  FORTRAN is for pipe stress
freaks and crystallography weenies...

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
SIGMUND FREUD

Real Programmers don't write in COBOL. COBOL is for wimpy
applications programmers...

If the programmer is working in a  language  that  allows  only
three dimensions, we are not likely to observe more than three.
                   -Weinberg, p.31

When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one
Ive never tried before.
MAE WEST

Her life was saved by rock and roll.
LOU REED

It's not whether you win or lose,
it's how good you look playing!
David Lee Roth

Real Programmers never work 9 to 5. If any real programmers are
around at 9 AM, it's because they were up all night.

Honest Officer, had I known my health stood in jeprody I would never
had lit one.
MAXIM OF THE HELLS ANGELS

It is a rather pleasent experience to be alone in a bank at night.
WILLIE SUTTON

The systems designer suffer[s] because the  better  his  system
does its job, the less its users know of its existence.
                   -Weinberg, p.124

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting.
BILLY ROSE

The rich will do anything for the poor but get off their backs.
KARL MARX
If Karl, instead of writing a lot about capital, had made a lot of
it ... it would have been much better.
KARL MARX'S MOTHER

To  detect  errors,  the programmer must have a conniving mind,
one  that  delights  in  uncovering  flaws  where  beauty   and
perfection were once thought to lie.
                   -Weinberg, p.136

When I sell liquor, its called bootlegging; when my patrons serve
it on Lake Shore Drive, its called hospitality.
AL CAPONE

For  locating  errors,  however,  we  want a person who has the
persistence of a mother-in-law and the collecting instincts  of
a pack rat.
                   -Weinberg, p.136

Anything anybody can say about America is true.
EMMETT GROGAN

Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land
in Los Angeles.
FRANK LLOYD WRIGHT

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
BUCKMINSTER FULLER

Another  effect [of not having a spoken form] is the difficulty
with which we can talk about a programming language  without  a
blackboard  or  pencil  and  paper.   Every  programming office
should have a blackboard, chalk, and many erasers.
                   -Weinberg, p.207

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
DWIGHT D EISENHOWER

You smash it - and Ill build around it.
JOHN LENNON

College isnt the place to go for ideas.
HELLEN KELLER

'Programming'  -  like  'loving'  -  is  a  single  word   that
encompasses an infinitude of activities.
                   -Weinberg, p.121

Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns
and detective stories.
ARTHUR C CLARKE

America, how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?
ALLEN GINSBERG

It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore,
I have to beat somebody.
RICHARD M NIXON

The  important thing is not to stop questioning.  Curiosity has
its own reason for existing.
                   -Albert Einstein

Any smoothly functioning technology will have the appearence of magic.
ARTHUR C CLARKE

Programming shares  with  prayer  the  feature  of  directional
transmission and broadcast reception.
                   -Weinberg, p.207

Better to have wrestled and lost than played basketball!
                   -Sysop

If  the  poor  workman  hates his tools, the good workman hates
poor tools.  The work of the workingman is, in a sense, defined
by his tools.
                   -Weinberg, p.203
No craftsman,  if  he  aspires  to  the  highest  work  in  his
profession,  will  accept [inferior] tools; and no employer, if
he appreciates the quality of work, will  ask  a  craftsman  to
accept them.
                   -Weinberg, p.204

He who shits on the road will meet flies on his return.
SOUTH AFRICAN SAYING

Use it up ... Wear it out.
Make it do ... Or do without.
US WORLD WAR II MESSAGE

You cant underestimate the power of fear.
TRICIA NIXON

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this
incredible jailbreak.
WAVY GRAVY

Justice is incedental to law and order.
J EDGAR HOOVER

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX

The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
ABBIE HOFFMAN

...   in  some  terminal  systems  ...   the  user can keep his
program from  being  pushed  down  in  the  priority  stack  by
fiddling with the shift key while he is thinking.
                   -Weinberg, p.209

Stay out of the road, if you want to grow old.
PINK FLOYD

Here I am, fifty-eight, and I still dont know what I want to be
when I grow up.
PETER DRUCKER

I could prove God statistically.
GEORGE GALLUP

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior
spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive
with our frail and feeble mind.
ALBERT EINSTEIN

When  a  programmer  has  a difficult time finding a bug, it is
because he is looking in the wrong place.
                   -Weinberg, p.251

Real wealth can only increase.
R BUCKMINSTER FULLER

Anyone can hate. it costs to love.
JOHN WILLIAMSON

In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true
or becomes true.
JOHN LILLY

How can you be two places at once when youre not anywhere at all?
FIRESIGN THEATER

The expert is a person who avoids the small errors as he sweeps
on to the grand fallacy.
                   -Anonymous

I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
OSCAR WILDE

We are what we pretend to be.
KURT VONNEGUT, JR

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
OSCAR WILDE

The  nature  of  programming  being  what  it  is,  there is no
relationship between the 'size' of the error and  the  problems
it causes.
                   -Weinberg, p.247

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -
but thats the way to bet.
DAMON RUNYON

Documentation  is  the  castor  oil  of  programming  ...   the
managers  know  it  must be good because programmers hate it so
much.
                   -Weinberg, p.262

Time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space.
GRAFFITI

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.
ALBERT EINSTEIN

Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.
TALLULAH BANKHEAD

The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten per cent of  its
capacity - the rest is overhead for the operating system.
                   -Anonymous

A physicist is an atoms way of knowing about atoms.
GEORGE WALD

Dont lose
Your head
To gain a minute
You need your head
Your brains are in it.
BURMA SHAVE

We stand at the brink of a new age, an age made possible by the
revolution  that  is embodied in the computer.  Standing on the
brink, we could totter either way - to a golden age of  liberty
or  a  dark  age  of  tyranny,  either  of  which would surpass
anything the world has ever  known.   Perhaps  no  individual's
efforts  will  make  any  difference in the result, but we must
never cease trying, for then the result is sure to be  tyranny.
                   -Weinberg, p.279

It was always thus; and even if 'twere not, 'twould inevitably have been
always thus.
DEAN LATTIMER

Burnt Sienna. Thats the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.
KEN WEAVER

Please dont ask me what the score is, Im not even sure what the game is.
ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT

I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT

If you cant learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT

Everyone  seems to have been surprised by the stickiness of the
problem, and it is hard to discern the nature of it.
                   -Brooks, p.4

I dont have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT

Maybe Im lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the
wrong direction.
ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT

By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task
completely overwhelm me.
ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT

The programmed computer has all the fascination of the  pinball
machine or the jukebox mechanism, carried to the ultimate.
                   -Brooks, p.7

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you
hit the target.
ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT

The programmer, like the poet, works only slightly removed from
pure thought-stuff.
                   -Brooks, p.7

America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence
without civilization in between.
OSCAR WILDE

The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.
ALAN COULT

One  types the correct incantation on a keyboard, and a display
screen comes to life, showing things that never were nor  could
be   ...   [however]  if  one  character,  one  pause,  of  the
incantation is not strictly in proper form, the  magic  doesn't
work.
                   -Brooks, p.8

We dont know who discovered water, but we are certain it wasnt a fish.
JOHN CULKIN

...   [OS/360]  was late, it took more memory than planned, the
costs were several times the estimate, and it did  not  perform
very well until several releases after the first.
                   -The Mythical Man-Month,
                   Frederick Brooks, p. viii

Try to be the best of what you are, even if what you are is no good.
ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT

I waited and waited, and when no message came, I knew it must have
been from you.
ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT

Please dont lie to me, unless youre absolutely sure Ill never find
out the truth.
ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT

A ship on the beach is a lighthouse to the sea.
                   -Dutch proverb

If the aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would
presumably flunk it.
STANLEY GARN

The world looks as if it has been left in the custody of trolls.
FATHER ROBERT F CAPON

Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest
men in national government too.
RICHARD M NIXON

...   one's authority is not sufficient for his responsibility.
                   -Brooks, p.8

We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
DWIGHT D EISENHOWER

If we make peaceful revolution impossible, we make violent revolution
inevitiable.
JOHN F KENNEDY

...  designing grand concepts is fun; finding nitty little bugs
is just work.
                   -Brooks, p.8

"Contrariwise", continued Tweedledee, "If it was so, it might be; and if
it were so, it would be; but as it isnt, it aint. Thats logic."
LEWIS CARROLL

It takes a long time to understand nothing.
EDWARD DAHLBERG

To know the world one must construct it.
CESARE PAVESE

As soon as one freezes a design, it becomes obsolete  in  terms
of its concepts.
                   -Brooks, p.9

Eeny Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak.
BULLWINKLE the MOOSE

All programmers are optimists.
                   -Brooks, p.14

Laws of Computer Programming
(1) Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
(2) Any given program costs more and takes longer.
(3) If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
(4) If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
(5) Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.
(6) The value of a program is porportional to the
    weight of its output.
(7) Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the
    programmer who must maintain it.
(8) Make it possible for programmers to write programs in
    English, and you will find that programmers cannot write
    in English.
SIGPLAN Notices, Vol 2 No 2

When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.
CALVIN COOLIDGE

Real Programmers don't write in PL/I.  PL/I is for programmers
who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.

The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.
TENESSEE WILLIAMS

An object never serves the same function as its image- or its name.
RENE MAGRITTE

Good  cooking  takes  time.   If you are made to wait, it is to
serve you better, and to please you.
                   -Menu of Restaurant Antoine, New Orleans

All I kin say is when you finds yo'self wanderin' in a peach orchard,
ya dont go lookin' for rutabagas.
KINGFISH

Real Programmers don't write in BASIC.
Actually, no programmers write in BASIC,
after the age of 12.

He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder.
M C ESCHER

Law of Computability Applied to Social Sciences:
 If at first you don't suceed, transform your data set.

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
PAUL ERLICH

I just found the last bug.
                   -Unanimous

A large programming effort ...  consists of  many  tasks,  some
chained  end-to-end.   The  probability  that each will go well
becomes vanishingly small.
                   -Brooks, p.16

If A equals success, then the formula is:
   A= X + Y + Z
X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.
ALBERT EINSTEIN

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are
you wont either.
JOSEPH FISCHER

Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport
that requires you to change clothes.
Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers wear their climbing
boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up
in the middle of the machine room....

Fourth Law of Thermodymanics:
 If the probability of success is not almost one, then it is
damn near zero.
DAVID ELLIS

Cost does indeed vary as the product of the number of  men  and
the  number of months.  Progress does not.  Hence the man-month
as a unit for measuring the size of a job is  a  dangerous  and
deceptive myth.
                   -Brooks, p.16

Frouds Law:
 A transistor protected by a fast acting fuse will protect the
fuse by blowing first.

Fullers Law of Cosmic Irreversibility:
 1 Pot T == 1 Pot P
 1 Pot P == 1 Pot T
R BUCKMINSTER FULLER

The  bearing  of  a child takes nine months, no matter how many
women are assigned.
                   -Brooks, p.17

The meek shall inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights.
J PAUL GETTY

Gilb's Laws of Reliability
(1) Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.
(3) The only difference between the fool, and the criminal who
    attacks a system is that the fool attacks unpredictably and
    on a broader front.
(5) Self-checking systems tend to have a complexity in proportion
    to the inherent unreliability of the system in which they
    are used.
(6) The error-detection and correction capabilities of any system
    are the key to understanding the type of errors which they
    cannot handle.
(7) Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to
    detectable errors, which by definition are limited.
(8) All real programs contain errors until proven otherwise -
    which is impossible.
(9) Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the
    probable cost of errors, or somebody insists on getting some
    useful work done.
TOM GILB

Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he
encounters needs pounding.
ABRAHAM KAPLAN

The fault lies not with our technologies but with our systems.
ROGER LEVIAN

When everything has been seen to work, all integrated, you have
four more months work to do.
                   -Charles Portman
                   International Computers Limited

Real Programmers don't document. Documentation is for
simps who can't read the listing or the object deck.

Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there
is some ordinance under which you can be booked.
ROBERT D SPRECHT (RAND CORP)

Thoreau's Law:
 If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of
doing you good, you should run for your life.

Vique's Law:
 A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.

Observe that for the programmer, as for the chef,  the  urgency
of  the patron may govern the scheduled completion of the task,
but it cannot govern the actual completion.
                   -Brooks, p.21

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs,
then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
GERALD WEINBERG

Real Programmers don''t write in PASCAL, or BLISS, or ADA, or C,
or any of those pinko computer science languages.
Strong typing is ofr people with weak memories...

Zimmerman's Law of Complaints:
Nobody notices when things go right.

Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance.
CONFUCIUS

...  when [the omelette]  has  not  set  in  two  minutes,  the
customer has two choices - wait or eat it raw.
                   -Brooks, p.21

Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.
BOOK OF PROVERBS

Brooks Law: Adding manpower to a late software project makes it
later.
                   -Brooks, p.25

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good
impromptu speech.
MARK TWAIN

The unnatural, that too is natural.
GOETHE

I used to be indecisive; now Im not sure.
GRAFFITI

...   the  sheer  number of minds to be coordinated affects the
cost of the effort.
                   -Brooks, p.30

I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didnt like it.
SAMUEL GOLDWYN

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
GRAFFITI

...  conceptual integrity is the most  important  consideration
in system design.
                   -Brooks, p.42

(To Walter Cronkite):
"Well Walter, I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number
of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running
up and down a street"
- Neil Armstrong -

The  purpose of a programming system is to make a computer easy
to use.
                   -Brooks, p.43

"You doubted Me," God tells the Lawgiver [Moses], "But I forgave
you that doubt. You doubted your own self and failed to believe
in your own powers as a leader, and I forgave you that also. But
you lost faith in these people and doubted the divine possibilities
of Human Nature. THIS loss of faith makes it impossible for
you to enter the Promised Land."
- The Midrash -

Neither function alone nor  simplicity  alone  defines  a  good
design.
                   -Brooks, p.43

" 'Martyrdom' is the only way a person can become famous without ability"
- George Bernard Shaw -

"Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty
without any proof"
Ashley Montague -

"Birth, Copulation, and Death. That's all the facts when you
come to brass tacks"
T. S. Elliot -

Add little to little and there will be a big pile.
                   -Ovid

"Make no little plans. They have no Magic to stir Men's blood."
D. B. Hudson -

"Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more '
user-friendly'.... Their best approach, so far, has been to take
all the old brochures, and stamp the words, 'user-friendly' on the cover."
Bill Gates,Pres.,Microsoft,Inc. -

He'll  sit here and he'll say, 'Do this!  Do that!' And nothing
will happen.
                   -Harry S. Truman

Eight Things your computer won't do:
 1) It won't save you money
 2) It won't make your organization run right
 3) It won't solve every problem
 4) It won't run itself
 5) It won't always be right
 6) It won't meet all its own needs
 7) It won't protect itself
 8) It won't become obsolete
J. Makower -

Never go to sea with two chronometers; take one or three.
                   -Anonymous

Bradley's Bromide:
If computers get too powerful,we can organize them into a committee...
 that will do them in.

Civilization Law #1:
Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations
one can do without thinking about them.

I know it.  I know what needs to be done - but every time I try
to tackle a technical problem some bloody fool wants me to make
a decision about trucks - or telephones - or some  damn  thing.
                   -Robert Heinlein
                   The Man Who Sold the Moon

Ketterling's Law:
Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence.

"Whenever 'A' attempts by law to impose his moral standards
upon 'B', 'A' is most likely a scoundrel"
H. L. Mencken -

"The government of the United States is not in any sense founded
on the Christian Religion"
George Washington -

The problem was that everybody who was working there, including
myself,  wanted  to  do  really neat stuff but they didn't want
neat stuff, they just wanted a lot of stuff fast.
                   -Rick Baker, make-up artist for King
                   Kong, Star Wars, et. al.

"In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty."
 - Thomas Jefferson -


"Money, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations"
 - Thomas Jefferson -

"Money, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations"
 - Thomas Jefferson -

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to
chance.
                   -Robert R. Coveyou
                   Oak Ridge National Laboratory

"Its hard to forget a girl when you buy here a gift on time"
 - George Washington -

"We must all hang together, or we will surely all hang separately"
 - Benjamin Franklin -

"Where a new invention promises to be useful, it ought to be tried"
 - Thomas Jefferson -

It's redundant!  It's redundant!
                   -R. E. Dundant

"Assuming that either the left wing or the right wing gained
control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles"
 - Pat Paulsen -

I don't know any reason why we couldn't do it, but maybe we can
think of one.
                   -Mark C. Davison

"An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself"
 - Camus -

"I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it"
 - W. C. Fields -

Bug?  That's not a bug, that's a feature.
                   -T. John Wendel

"Six years for possession of a cigarette?...I got six months
for possession of a deadly weapon!"
 - cartoon by S. Harris -

The computer 'Doth make fools of us all'.
                   -Weinberg, p.152

The Swartzberg Test:
 The validity of a science is its ability to predict.

"There is no choice before us. Either we must Succeed in providing
the rational coordination of impulses and guts, or for centuries
civilization will sink into a mere welter of minor excitements.
We must provide a Great Age or see the collapse of the upward
striving of the human race"
 - Alfred North Whitehead -

Any fool without the ability to share a laugh on  himself  will
be unable to tolerate programming for long.
                   -Weinberg, p.152

"My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of
human systems, and I am convinced that we are terribly
vulnerable.... We should be reluctant to turn back upon the
frontier of this epoch. Space is indifferent to what we
do; it has no feeling, no design, no interest in whether
or not we grapple with it. But we cannot be indifferent to
space, because the grand, slow march of intelligence has brought
us, in our generation, to a point from which we can explore and
understand and utilize it. To turn back now would be to deny
our history, our capabilities."
 - James A. Michener -

The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH'.
                   -Weinberg, p.152

"To err is human, to compute divine. Trust your computer but
not its programmer"
 - Morris Kingston -

"I've seen many politicians paralyzed in the legs as myself, but
I've seen more of them who were paralyzed in the head"
 - George Wallace -

"You don't have to explain something you never said"
 - Calvin Coolidge -

When  we  finally  see the light, we see how once again we have
fallen into some foolish assumption, some oafish  practice,  or
some witless blunder.
                   -Weinb                 es Moines Iowa                                                             Who ive land          


The job cannot be done right unless  the  necessary  tools  are
available.
                   -Proceedings of the IEEE, 2/78, p.174

After all is said and done, a lot more has been said than done.

Beauty is only skin deep, but Ugly goes straight to the bone.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

        I hear and I forget.
        I see and I remember.
        I do and I understand.
                   -Confucius

Any given program, when running correctly, is obsolete.

Tell a man that there are 300 billion stars in the universe,
and he'll believe you.... Tell him that a bench has wet paint
upon it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.

Sex is like snow... You never know how many inches you're going
to get or how long it will last.

On a clear disk you can seek forever.
                   -Computerworld button